Pushing the Dream

Things are rarely what they seem to be. The problem is, we leave little room for them to be seen any differently than the way we do. This is a case against perception when trying to relate with an outside experience, whether it be person, place or thing.

Close your eyes.
Imagine an apple.
Now, what color was the apple you imagined?
I am guessing nearly every time you think of, or imagine an apple the apple will appear to be the same color.
I am also guessing that the apple you picture is similar to an apple that you favor.
So, if you prefer crisp tart apples, you most likely imagined a green shade of apple. If you prefer sweet juicy apples you most likely imagined a variant that is green, yellow and pinkish in color. If you don't care for apples either way, perhaps you pictured the more traditional red apple, lacking in any strong flavor.
If you were talking to a teacher and she mentioned an apple maybe you may perceive the apple as being red as well, do to the age old adage of the apple on the teachers desk and it being immortalized in the hue of RED.


The above hypothesis may be true in some cases and false in others, but the point that I am illustrating is the ability to perceive things in such a manner that they will fit neatly into the constructs of our well organized minds. Our circumstances and desires strongly affect the way we perceive our "outer experience".

As we all know there are many shades, textures, flavors and sorts of apples out there. What is entirely disappointing when you transfer this analogy to everyday life and relationships is that you cannot make a green apple pink. You can sit there and tell the apple it is tart, you need it to be sweeter, it is astringent and leaves you with a dry taste in your mouth, and still the apple will be green.

We see things the way we want them to be. Not the way they want to be. We see people the way we want them to be. We see our futures as we have dreamed them to be since our birth. We leave little room for surprise or growth. We leave little room for things and people to show how they really are. What color, taste, texture. We keep mentally investing in and projecting out the same color, over and over again because it is what we want, what we know, what we can depend on. But this is rarely reality. I mean no two green apples taste exactly the same after all. But we keep buying that color anyways because it seems like we can depend on the outcome, but sometimes you take a bite and you have to squish up your face and crinkle your nose because what you bit off is so sour. Surprise. And people are the same. We construct relationships in our minds not based on the reality of the relating that is occurring in the moment, but based on the past experience and the likely hood of it continuing as you plan. This keeps us chained to an ideal that may not even be a possibility. We create beliefs about people that they do not share. We are constantly trying to project our dream and force our reality. And if something doesn't fit, well we either throw it out or simply deny it as it truly is, or we subconsciously choose to see it as we want it to be.

Now close your eyes and imagine someone you love.
How do you see them?
Do you see them as they are? Or do you see them as how they affect you?
Do you have a limited capacity for perceiving them?
Are they always the same?
Can you see them as they might see themselves?
Is it similar to the way you see them?

A guy walks into a bar....
He used to go to this bar when he was younger. Before he goes, he recalls the fun, the trouble, the excitement that has been had there. The guy is older now, more mature, more conscious, more aware. So he walks in and stays and plays remember when, and by the time he leaves he feels disappointed somehow, despite the fact that fun was had. He projected the experience before it was had and was preoccupied with the details of how it should be and totally neglected the details of how it really was. It was fun. He had fun, his friends had fun and everybody was happy.

Maybe we could all use a lesson in seeing things the way they are rather than how good or bad we want/expect them to be. This might require trying to see things from others perspectives. Or by trying to see things with beginners mind, as if you know nothing about a given situation, whether it be person place or thing.