There are certain things in life that drive me crazy; waiting, relinquished hopes, and not knowing how to live more fully and suffering because of it (AKA boredom). I imagine my life without these things to be one of ease and contentedness, a life of complete certainty. I would know exactly what it would take to make each moment full and authentic. I would never sit and ponder what to do/eat/see/experience because I would be engaged in the moment, not waiting for the moment, there would be no boredom. So what is this waiting, this root that proliferates and stems angst? What is it beyond a debilitating misperception that makes me suffer? Where does it come from and how do I weed it out? Or do I just sit and watch, watch the weeds grow and maybe flower (depending on the variety), watch them as they die and turn to seed, watch the winds of change sweep them up and carry them off to grow somewhere new. Maybe the real question is, can I sit and watch without "thinking" that I am waiting?
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